Unanswered Questions

There are no answers to my questions, and eventually I will stop asking.
But, for now, Paul, I would like to know:

Why did you choose to end your life?

How did your life get so unbearable
that you could see no other option but suicide?

Why didn’t you come to me and ask for help?

What could I have done to prevent this from happening?

Didn’t you know how much I would miss you?

Are you at peace?

Are you in God’s care?

The only person (except for God)
with the answers to my questions is unavailable to hear them.
And it occurs to me that he might not know the answers himself.

So, after three years, maybe it’s time to stop asking……

I’ve become aware that I really don’t want answers
as much as a chance to challenge the answers
and change the outcome.