Grieving Grieving is a unique, lonely, extremely painful process with each individual working through their own space at their own pace, but it is comforting to know what helped others who have experienced the anguish in the aftermath of a loved one’s suicide. “GIVE SORROW WORDS. GRIEF HAS NEED TO SPEAK, LEST WHISPER THE O’ER

1000 Deaths The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand… Why? A Memorial for Alexey Ilyushin Berardi A site lovingly created by his parents, Letizia and Nicola – my fellow SPAN buddies from New York.   Be sure to read “Thoughts,

HOLIDAY PROBLEMS – ROADBLOCKS Overwhelming sense of loss Overwhelming emotions Being alone Traditions that have changed Triggers (“land mines”) – reminders of your loss – music, cards, greetings, etc… Others’ expectations Lack of energy Lack of “holiday spirit” Negative associations with holidays Previous history of disappointing holidays or unhappy relationships HOLIDAY SOLUTIONS – STEPPING STONES

Beyond Surviving Know you can survive. You may not think so, but you can. Struggle with why it happened until you no longer need to know why, or until you are satisfied with partial answers. Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings but all your feelings are normal. Anger, guilt, confusion,

Helping Children Grieve A Suicide Loss ne night, during an SOS meeting, a young widow tearfully asked “What do I do with my two kids?” Since I was not dealing with small children in my healing process, I had to tell her that I had no answers for her that night. But I offered to

Some Facts Of Life After A Death People want you to be “fine” – not unhappy. It is a couple society. You may feel that you are going crazy. Tears come unbidden. Physicians want to give you medication. Finances change, frequently for the worse. Some friends and acquaintances drift away. Skills that have not been

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE BY SUICIDE Surviving the suicide of a loved one is one of the most difficult challenges one will ever face. The “survivors,” the ones whom suicide leaves behind, are besieged with intense grief. This grief hurts desperately, but must be borne. The grief that comes with suicide

THE PHASES OF GRIEF There is no right or wrong way to grieve. All your feelings are normal. It is helpful, however, to know that human grief is a process that often follows a healing pattern. Shock is the first stage. It is accompanied by disbelief and numbness. Denial follows quickly, crying “I don’t believe

After Suicide by John H. Hewett – published by Westminster Press, Philadelphia, PA (1980) For those struggling to cope in the aftermath of a suicide, this book presents the facts and demonstrates how to deal with feelings of guilt, anger, bewilderment, and shame. It shows how to live as survivors of suicide, how to explain

REFLECTIONS OF A SURVIVOR Unanswered Questions There are no answers to my questions, and eventually I will stop asking. But, for now, Paul, I would like to know: Why did you choose to end your life? How did your life get so unbearable that you could see no other option but suicide? Why didn’t you